Sorry parents if that wan’t what you wanted to hear. That’s the truth and I’ve got to tell it like it really is. Unless your child has some yet not diagnosed learning disability that prevents from being able to control their behavior and/or development, the issue lays directly at your feet.
But don’t get upset, it’s actually a good thing. You have the ability to raise, develop, and nurture your child into a loving, kind, independent, self-sufficient person. One who will become a successful and contributing member of society later on. Which, by way, is the real purpose of a child’s parent(s).
Yes, parenting can be challenging and, sometimes even difficult; but, when you’ve got the right ammunition, tools, and skill sets it’s a lot easier and less stressful. And, you’ve got a secret weapon – me, your own personal NANA!!! I’ll help, advice, and guide you through many unique and successful Positive Parenting Methods that I’ve pulled from my own past experiences. And all the knowledge that I’ve gained throughout my many years of caring for children of all ages.
However, there’s something that you’ve got to be willing to do and that’s to be willing to learn, adapt and implement (use) what you learn. FOR KNOWLEDGE IS NOT POWER UNLESS SHARED OR USED!
Please, make the decision to absorb all the knowledge you can and become a student of Positive Parenting concepts and methods. Keeping in mind that there are a large percentage of advice ideas out there that don’t fall within those parameters, so avoid those all together.
Now I’m going to point out some parenting no-no’s. You may find that you’re doing some of them and if so, be willing to change for the sake of your child’s development and behavior (and your sanity).
If you know others who are doing a lot negative parenting, then you might want to keep your distance if you can (I understand if it’s family, we can’t avoid them) because bad habits can rub off onto you.
If you have friends who raise their kids like this too, then you may – 1) want to look into getting new friends from local Positive Parenting groups or parents you already know are using the Positive Parenting Method, or 2) talk to your friend in a positive, non-criticizing manner to see if they too would be willing to learn, adapt, and implement some better, more positive parenting methods like you are willing to do.
Okay, so here’s a small list of no-no’s that can create entitled, selfish, and lazy kids that will get worse the older they get.
- Not allowing a child to deal with the consequences of their misdeeds, actions, or bad behaviors.
- Not teaching them to do household chores (without paying them to do so), i.e.: clearing the table after meals, putting dishes in the dishwasher, picking up their room, making their beds, picking up toys that are played with, putting away their cleanly folded clothes, putting toilet paper on the roll when it’s empty, etc…
- Giving them “EVERYTHING YOU NEVER HAD GROWING UP!”
- Giving them only the best of the best (name brand everything) even if you really can’t afford it.
- Allowing them to talk disrespectfully to parents and other authoritative figures.
- Not being consistent and/or persistent with their child’s discipline.
- Not keeping up with their social media, both content and time usage.
- Allowing under-aged drinking (especially at home) because “THEY’RE GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY, BETTER TO LET THEM DO IT IN THE SAFETY OF THEIR OWN HOME”.
- Criticizing them for every little thing and/or humiliating them to get them to do something better.
- Not teaching them the most basic, fundamental practice of GOOD MANNERS.
There are such simple ways to teach all of the above in a positive way (of course it’s age determinate). I promise you it can be done. In my next post, I’ll give you number by number resolutions to combat and even ward off each issue.
Keep you head and heart open to learning, adapting, and implementing new ideas so YOU can be a great and loving parent who is able to enjoy their child.
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Remember – ALWAYS DARE TO DREAM!